Meditating to Heal

The most difficult task for us to be completely honest with ourselves. This fault is a natural part of the human experience, one of the ways we fall short in our relationship with ourselves, others, and God. We are told to go into a room alone to pray, to be with God; it is this time where we need to be the most honest. Maybe, what we should do, must do, is take an inventory of ourselves, either alone or with a trusted friend or mentor, to find what we need to correct or even purge from our systems, all to be honest with ourselves.

With God’s help, we can discover our fully personal lives, including the immortal divine life, as well as the mortal human life. With the spirit of God within us, being completely honest with ourselves, opens us to receive ever-flowing love coming into our hearts. God brings us closer to him, allowing us to be closer to each other . . . if we are honest with ourselves; we then become honest with God and with others, giving us everlasting love.

God’s eternal love for us transforms us so that with others, sharing this love, we can transform the world to His goodness and grace. There is no stronger inspiration for us to be honest with ourselves and others, therefore, also being honest with God. And, since we have such a difficult task, God gave us the perfect example, Jesus, a human example to emulate, which does not mean we have to be physical crucified. Our task can be and undoubtedly is much more difficult, allowing ourselves to be spiritually crucified, therefore growing closer to God.

Honesty within is very difficult, but very, very rewarding.

 

 

 

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters; He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

This was the first psalm I memorized, and it still is a great part of my life sixty-five years later . . . when I am in the moment. This psalm, along with the presentation of the Festival of Dedication in John 10, was the subject of our rector’s homily yesterday at church. The great question asked by the apostles was are you the one.

We all ask this, at many times in our lives. Reflecting on Psalm 23, the answer is yes, for me. We are doubters; remember Thomas’s doubts. When we doubt, we are not fully prepared for God’s love that dwells within us; we are not able to see what is within us and surrounding us. As our rector stated: If you are not living within the moment, the moment is not, cannot be within you. Something is missing.

I think back to something I said in a previous meditation; if we are not as present in the moment, the same way that a child is present, we are not fully accepting God’s presence within us. Just watch a child at play, while coloring, or reading. The concentration there is obvious; nothing can pierce the protective shell that the child has temporarily created while doing that one thing. Unfortunately, we seem to have lost the ability of a young child to be present in the current moment.

This is the way we can be when we remember that God is within us.

Too often, we live with the expectation of something greater than the present is waiting for us. Is not this our egos usurping our every moment? Can we let go of our self-importance to accept the presence of God within us? I find this very difficult at times, especially when I awaken each morning with the pains of old age.

However, when I am like and child and remember the words of David’s psalm, I can feel God’s closeness; I know that I am walking in His light. I know that when I am as a young child, I am filled with His love and His grace.

May you feel God’s presence today.

 

Are we perfect?

Our society does not treat us with respect; we live in a world that expects us to be perfect. If we fall prey to this expectation, we measure ourselves to all of the images we see around us, we feel something less than perfect. Often, we try to hide our imperfections and expend an enormous amount of time, money, and energy into measuring up, creating a psychological hollowness within us.

This results in us filling our self-image, our ego, with all of the artificial pressures placed on us by society. By doing this, we have no room for anything else. In a word, we are empty of what matters, but filled with artificial nothingness. This artificial nothingness can lead us into emotional and psychological feelings of superiority. Our ego takes over.

Society is not about you; it is not about me; it is about us. It cannot be about us if we are so pepped up by this false ego. Our ability to share is not how much we really have to give to society, but how empty we truly are.  We cannot receive the gift of giving with being able to receive.

This has to start with our relationship to God. To receive His grace, we have to empty ourselves of this falseness so that we can receive His Love fully in our life and let Him live His life within us. Jesus said that the Kingdom of God is within us; we just have to allow Him in. We have to empty ourselves of ego.

God is Life; God is Truth; God is Love; God is Perfect. I ask each morning for God to be within me as I live through my day.

 

I am immortal only because of my inner child

It is indestructible, emotional,

sometimes quick to anger, quick to accuse

it is often immature, intolerant, and unable to accept others.

It is playful, promising, dreaming,

sometimes wishing for the impossible,

hopeful with a positive attitude,

able to accomplish everything

with unlimited possibilities,

always willing to help others

when it reveals itself. I am

as young and immature as its imagination.

I am happy to live with this inner child;

I love when I look at the world,

seeing love, seeing God’s Grace.

With God’s will, I will be my inner child.

 

From the Church of England: Many people think only about food, drink, money, and material goods. They believe that having more stuff brings a rich, abundant life. These lives are shaped by wanting more material things. Jesus challenges this view; he provides bread for the people and then he leads them deeper. Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life.

The people ask, ‘What is this food?’ Jesus replies, ‘I am’. ‘I am the bread of life’: the one who brings joy and strength and sustains and feeds all that we are created to be. This is a key part to the Lord’s Prayer that leads us back to the Him. As we pray for daily bread, we are praying daily for a fresh encounter with Christ. Do we dare to do this?

We all already have this ability within us and between us—in fact, Jesus assures us that we are already “clothed” in it “from on high” (see Luke 24:49)! We need to look deep into our hearts and tend them with the same care as those who first heard Jesus speak, being careful to prune, and cut, and even to burn so that we too may live our lives in peace.

The scriptures remind us that peace is the fruit of love, a love that is also just, just for all. God reminds us that this is not easy; we must work hard within ourselves to bring this love to all whom we meet. It may even involve giving up the certainties that we have held on to all our lives, giving up the comforts that shelter us, but also harm us. Let us define ourselves as God asks.

As we witness so much division, fear, and suffering in our world, we wonder what path there is to healing ourselves and restoring hope. Perhaps, faith in ourselves and in God is the only trustworthy guide for us to follow. This faith is within us; can we divorce ourselves from the worries that others create to be comforted in God’s Love? Can we accept the food that God prepares for us?

Perhaps you can respond to this, to yourselves or to this meditation.

Reviewing my life

A fearful task

filled with kinks, reversals,

right and left turns.

Looking back, I see the path of a tavern patron

Weaving home after a night of folly.

How can this be

I aimed in one direction, but changed often

My life paths are the branches of a tree

With many twists and turns

Many alternate ways to reach the sun

O, that my life be a river

Strength enough to absorb obstacles

Swift enough to go around or engulf them

Always unhindered in its path

But alas, I prize my life

With each branch that I climb, I approach the sunlight

With each branch, I draw nearer to God

Our pursuit of happiness is based on shallow premises. We think that there is something we must do or must have to be happy. If we look at what makes us truly happy, we find that it is our family, our friends, things we cannot buy. The joy that truly makes us happy is given by God; there is no requirement; there is nothing we have to do to gain it. It is ours with no preconditions. If we open our hearts, we gain the riches of God’s grace, receiving the fruits of love, joy, and peace.

God’s Love for us in infinite and eternal. This love is with us whatever we do, wherever we go, whoever we are. In every state of our being, God’s love remains unwavering. When we accept this and allow it to grow within us, the benefits to us are eternal and bring great joy.

When a loved one is facing struggles, remember to include God in your prayers and life. The rewarding grace is truly a calming aura that invades your very being. At times of stress, when I include God in my prayers, this calm comes over me. The physical situation may not change immediately, but the internal stress is relieved, knowing that God is holding me close to his heart.

We find it difficult to remember that in our everyday life, the material things that we covet are not the important things, which are Love of God, Love of family, love of our neighbors, wherever they are, and love of the bodies given to us by God.

Lord our God, although we feel that we not always worthy of the mercy and faithfulness you show to us, we thank you for your love and ask you to keep our hearts open for the joy of receiving Your Love and the love of all humankind.

 

Thy will, not mine.

What does this really mean? Our lives on Earth are surrounded by everything and every thought but this one. We’re not to blame ourselves for this. The societies we are born into regulate everything and every step we take. We are born; we become educated; we earn a living; we marry; we give birth to children; we die; and the cycle repeats itself from generation to generation.

My only question is: to what purpose? If we are fortunate, we can make a difference and create something beneficial to humanity, and our name will be remembered. This difference we create may make it easier for others, healthier for others, or not. But our new creation only perpetuates the inevitable cycle, changing nothing.

Looking back on the history of man on Earth, this inane cycle has been repeated since man began measuring time, and, probably earlier. There have been very few humans who have truly made a difference to us. They are the great religious philosophers and prophets, the mystics, those who transcended mankind’s rules to bring the word of God to us. Being a Christian, Jesus is the man, the prophet, the Son of God, who is most influential to me.

But how influential? I have not walked His walk. I haven’t sacrificed my bodily comforts, given up a life with family, travelled from community to community, passing the word of God. I have done what we all do; I have been an active and willing participant in the deadly, inane cycle of life. It is only now that I am retired from active work, that I can take the time to meditate on what life really means. What Jesus truly meant when he said, “thy will, not mine.”

In my daily prayer, I repeat “Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven.” However, Jesus told us many times that heaven is not a place; heaven is God’s presence in our lives. God within us, individually and as a community. When we pray thy will be done, we mean God’s will. In our everyday lives, we may not be doing this; we are probably doing our will, not God’s.

Does this mean we are not faithful to God? No! We are faithful to His will. Being human, we lack the inner strength to drop what we are doing, lay down our nets, and follow Jesus, passing the word of God. Only twelve men did, twelve very special men. If Jesus called us, would we answer? It took me over fifty years to reply; that was twenty-six years ago. I am happier now than I ever was. I listened. I prayed. I meditated. I answered. I taught.

God gifted me with a wonderful, loving wife and two terrific children. Being the recipient of God’s grace, I know that somehow, I have done His will. Maybe this was unconsciously done; yet, maybe His will was for me to learn a more challenging way that His will surpasses my will. Perhaps, this made me a better teacher.

This is not an easy road; at least, not the way our society plans things for us. God opened so many doors for me to become a teacher at the age of fifty, that I know that I then began doing His will. And what a terrific pilgrimage it has been.

Thy will be done.

Thy will be done.

 

All of us have to eventually learn to let go of something smaller so something bigger can happen. But that’s not a religion—it’s highly visible truth. It is the Way Reality Works. This is not a religion to be either fervently joined or angrily rejected. It is a train ride already in motion. The tracks are visible everywhere. You can be a willing and happy traveler. Or not.

We tend to hold on to what we have as if to lose it is to lose our reason to live. It is only in the present moment that we ever really know: the running in the dark, the stone out of place, the broken seal, the open door, a warmth in the breast, a gush of tears, a peal of light-headed laughter, a dumb-struck, or slack-jawed stammer. We are only comfortable with what we have in the present moment.

We are called to enter into one another’s life, anoint the relationship as holy, and stay with it no matter the outcome. This gives us a strength which is not our own and is freely given to us whenever we need it. This is one of the blessings we have, when we recognize it. This was asked of us by Jesus when he said the second greatest commandment is to love one another.

Jesus did not finish his work here on earth; he left this for us to continue. Look back. Draw on your memory. Re-read Matthew 25. His wishes are clear. When we fill weak and feel we cannot do this, all we have to do is stretch out our hands to God; we will gain the answer and the strength. The kingdom of God is within us, and it is within us that we find the strength to let go of our old ideas and move on to new pastures.

We are a survivors. In the face of many odds, our lives have extended into this new day. Past events may have hurt us, but look, we always come back to a stronger life. It’s not just Jesus who is a walking miracle; He has given us the strength to be his walking miracles.

Ninety-eight percent of our bodies’ atoms are replaced every year. When we think deeply about this, can we accept that each year we are a new person, physically, but are we a new person spiritually, emotionally, culturally? In a word, can we accept that over our lifetime, we evolve?

We begin as babies and grow into childhood. Take a look at a baby, or a child; they look at everything with unbelievable awe and wonder. Unbelievable to us, not to them. Everything is new! As a child, their spirit is changing as fast as their bodies are changing . . . ninety-eight percent each year; maybe even each day. The wonder of childhood need not be lost on us as we age, mature.

Try as I may, I walk through nature, seeing the plants, listening to the rustling of leaves as invisible animals make their way behind me, seeing the birds playfully, to us, searching for their next bit of life-sustaining food; I accept this from my aged point of view; it is no longer a wonder to me. I enjoy the feelings of seeing and hearing these wonders of nature, but I am no longer in awe of their beauty, no matter how much I pretend.

As I write this today, I feel that if I only had retained the wonder and awe of a young child, I would appreciate it more than I do. But this is not nature’s way; I aged and matured, becoming what I pray was and is a necessary cog in the ever-turning wheel of life. I taught the wisdom of the ages to adolescents and young adults. This is the necessary cycle of progress; the old helping the young mature.

I think of how different this could have been, if I were only more in touch with my long-lost childhood. I ask if I could have presented my experience and knowledge in a more childlike, more wonder-filled way, could I have helped my students retain some of the aw and wonder lost after childhood.

I cannot answer this self-imposed question; what I do know is that I was performing on God’s path, laid out especially for me. Yes, I am special; just as you are special. As I child, I thought the world revolved around me; as an adult, I know differently, but I know that my journey was that of God.

As I take another look at the nature around me, I can sit back and smile, knowing that my journey was just God planned. Looking at the birds in my yard sharing the feeders my wife so faithfully fills, I can see them with a muted, but resurgent awe. The wonder that God gives me each day I rise.

Let’s share the rebirth of God’s beauty.