Meditating to Heal

“ ^{. . .}But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. . .”

Jesus asks us to do something almost unbelievable according to Matthew (5:44). We all have someone who is much more than not a friend. I hesitate to call them enemies, but they are people who have no closeness to us. They may have been people who abused you physically or mentally way back in time when you were in school. Or, they may be people who have disrespected you recently because of your opinions, your faith, your sexual preference, or simply the color of your skin.

I am and always was a nerd. I was always envious, and I am guilty of vainglory! I also have an ego! I suffered through running my own business for years until someone took me under their umbrella of influence and gave me an opportunity to change, to follow God’s will. I discovered that my life struggle led to a life-long treasure of spiritual success, a treasure worth more than money.

In his book, Deeply Rooted: Knowing Self, Growing in God, Christopher Maricle writes, “This love is the root of the tree of the soul—and our life in God. We cannot have life in God—neither in this life nor in the next—without agape. Just as a tree needs water to survive, our soul cannot survive without this love.” I learned to love. I learned to see everyone as a beloved brother and sister; I learned to love them. And this freed me!

Since we are all sons and daughters of God, and we are all asked to love others as ourselves, there is no need to fear our enemies; because they are no longer enemies; they are loved! Do not forget, do not pity, do. . . love.

I think that Jesus also offers us to another commandment; Jesus wants us to dare to be happy! If we love, we will be happy.

©Russell Kendall Carter

 

Recently, I had a caustic argument with a family member. This was so acerbic that I went into a serious state of depression. After speaking with another member of my family, I prayed for some guidance; the only thing I received was a simple apology and a request to forgive. Of course, I forgive. I prayed for word from each family member to no avail. I heard nothing from either for weeks.

Weeks seemed like years, and my only thought was that I would die without seeing or speaking with them again. I did not allow myself to go into deeper depression and prayed that God would lead me to comfort and retrieval. Meditation reminded me that Love overcomes all. I prayed for a sign. But I know that God’s time is not ours.

Whatever the future holds, God knows.

I stopped stressing and worrying because I remembered that  I am in the hands of God, and all will be well. I remember that Love can never separate family over minor tiffs, no matter how acetic they seemed at the time. I know in my heart that love is family. Soon, both family members called; I felt such an inflow of Love, that for the first time in weeks, I was lifted above my mortal failings.

I delved into a minor reading of selected Psalms and came upon this passage from Psalm 138: “You answered me when I called to you; with your strength you strengthened me (3).” I am strong because I am Love; you are strong because you are Love; we are strong together, for we are Love.

 

©Russell Kendall Carter

I live in a world of contradictions hidden behind a screen of unspoken stupidity. The unjust and unresolved issues that society refuses to face have grown to unmanageable proportions to the economy-driven world we suffer through. We call ourselves free, but in reality our freedom is tied to a system downward pressure keeping those at the bottom mired in poverty. Unless we free these brothers and sisters from our society-imposed economic servitude, we all will eventually share in the results of the top-down pressure of greed and ego.

Like an automaton, I read the morning paper and listen to the evening news on the TV, opening myself to the machinations of the unreality of what we call a normal life. I grow into this world of unresolvable evil. I ignore my innate knowledge God’s Truth.

Fortunately, God quietly awakens me to remind me that I share the prophetic imagination of the ancient mystics, and it is within myself, and everyone, to accept God’s presence, change the lives of people around us creating a  wave of spiritual enthusiasm which will change our world. We have no other choice but to avoid this annihilation. It is God who changes our world; if we allow Him to enter our eternal beliefs and lead us from our path to death.

Many years ago, when I was in a trio performing the works of the current folk groups, we borrowed a song from the Brothers Four; the tile is “Well, Well, Well.” Perhaps some of you remember this. My favorite stanza was and is, God told Noah, “Build you an ark!”/ Rain started fallin’ and the skies got dark/ Ol’ dark a’movin’, water start to climb / The Lord said “A fire, not a flood next time!”

On the lives of my grandchildren, and the grandchildren all around the world, I pray that we change our direction, listen to God within us, and open the knowledge concealed by our stupidity.    

 

©Russell Kendall Carter

 

 

I rise from my patio throne

with heart sorrowing for visions unseen.

My transitory images soon undone,

He cautions never to take thine eyes

From Him, for nature’s shortened green

and mankind soon will die.

 

Resurrection comes anew each March

by seeds so small ‘til they leaven;

my urge to stay so very large

not get away from earth awhile.

I again postpone my trip to heaven,

for Virginia hills so do beguile

 

©Russell Kendall Carter

 

Jesus, the water of Life;

in all the faces we meet;

eternal promise of togetherness.

 

©Russell Kendall Carter

Our dictionary defines transition this way: “movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change.” I simplify this to transformation. This carries much more impact and thoroughness than just mere change. I can change clothes; I can even change jobs; but I must transform my life if I look for a more substantial meaning and purpose as to who and what I am.

I experienced such a transition when I was fifty years of age. For over twenty-five years I was working and finally leading my family’s retail business. I was self-centered; I was chasing after the all-mighty dollar. I made decisions that profited only myself and my business. I was a failure!

Then a force stepped in; I called it fate; I now call it God. A series of occurrences changed my life forever; I was removed from my self-centered position as a self-important businessman and through the Grace of God, I was transformed into a teacher. From the first time I stepped into a classroom of middle school children until the day I retired twenty-five years later as a literature professor in college, I realized that I was not the most important thing in my life; I was not the core of my existence. My students were more important than I.

Let me explain! After one year of transformation, what the administration called a long-term substitute, I was given my own high school Social Studies class.  But my transition began as a substitute. The first morning, as I was taking attendance and watching all the students reconnecting after a long summer away from each other, I realized that education is not about the teacher; education is about the students. They are the true center! They became the center of my life.

When the first group of ninth graders entered my world history class, I held up my right hand with my thumb and forefinger about a half-inch apart and I said, “Welcome to World History; do you see this space between my fingers; this represents all I know about world history; over the course of the next few months, we will learn the rest together.” What I did not realize then, but I do now, is that I was telling my students to relax; we are learning together; you are my equal.

I did this for every new class I taught from ninth grade social studies to my last course as a college professor teaching the modern American play. To paraphrase Paul, we are all responsible for one another’s life, not just our own; we all share each other’s goodness; my life is not just me; my life includes you. My life includes all people. My life and those I affected in my teaching were blessed by my transformation.

©Russell Kendall Carter

As I trudge through the forests of life, I find my feet are often mired in the mud of self-made resistance. As is true with many of us, we create our own dire hardships and majestic disappointments. When I stop to look at what I am doing, as a result of a trumpet creeper slapping me in the face, life is bowling over me into true awakening with what is real.

I awake in the presence of a more powerful reality of He who knows our weakness and suffers all trials with us. Standing before Him, I feel no embarrassment of my brokenness and failures. For they are His also, as He carries me over my self-made missteps. In the quietude of my contemplation, I listen for the voice of God; I feel the words of Isaiah in my heart: “learn to good do, search for justice. . . be just to the orphan, plead for the widow, (1:17).

My heart explodes with the knowledge of my future steps. I am led from the darkness of my selfish forest to the sunlight of sharing my love of God with those shown to me who are in need of God’s Love and Truth. The vine that awakened me becomes God’s voice for me to speak.

©Russell Kendall Carter

These two simple words bring up two images in my mind. One is delightfully intriguing; the other is a poor example of man’s lack of caring for his brothers and sisters.

I don’t want to dwell on the negative side, only to remind myself of the ungodly treatment of our Black brothers and sisters. The other is the wonderful dance of the 1920’s, also performed mostly by our Black brothers and sisters. I have seen this dance, not danced it, I’m not that talented. It makes no sense to me. Although growing up in the 1950’s, I was more accustomed to the stroll and the lively twist along with Chubby Checker.

I am bringing this up from a recent trip my wife and I made to Pennsylvania to watch our grandson play lacrosse. I have to say the weather was terrible, rain, rain, and a little more rain. We went through the mountains of West Virginia through clouds that seemed to touch the top of our car. The bottoms of the clouds, our new skylight was pitch black, as the bottom of thunderclouds are.

Now, you might say that this was disheartening, but it was far from it. It was beautiful. I am overjoyed when I sit and admire the sunny days with birds and squirrels bickering over the feeders around our patio. These simple pleasures are God’s thank you(s) for feeding his flock. But when I sit under black-bottomed clouds, I am intrigued by the passions they bring out. I look at the billowing white, mountainous crowns and the pitch-black bottoms and am in awe of the variety and mixture of nature’s beauty.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a pessimist who belabors negative thoughts. I find it comforting to take my family, huddle in a house that will protect us (I pray). And awaiting the coming storm with torrential rain and winds that could be hurricane or tornado strength. But I also know that rain will nurture the soils for new plantings, and the rains and winds will cleanse our worlds. And we will be renewed in the following sunlight.

The black bottom of song and weather nourishes our lives.

©Russell Kendall Carter

I find it difficult to explain this theory to my friends who are limited in their understanding of God and Man. As is made clear in our belief and in our understanding of Scripture, “…according to the best scholars, there are clear evidences of two distinct documents in the early part of the book of Genesis (523:14-17).” Man, with a capital “M,” is the perfect creation by God; man is the mortal misconception created by the early writers of the Old Testament. God creates noting that is imperfect. Therefore, Man is eternal.

One of the terms that I cannot accept in this week’s lesson is “science.” Another is the word, “knowledge.” These are words created by men to try to understand the words and gifts of God. They are refuted by those who do not follow the meaning of God.  I must admit that I never could learn science in either high school or college. Believe me when I say that this is embarrassing to admit. However, while in college, I attained a great deal of knowledge from my undergraduate programs to my doctorate in contemporary literature; and I will admit that as a teacher a college professor, I share a great deal of this knowledge with my students.

What I did not and could not share with them was Wisdom; this only comes from God. I explained this to them. What I did do was share with them how I attain Wisdom, through meditation and prayer. That was as far as I felt I could go. I had Christians, Jews, Muslims, Sikhs, and many other religious students sitting before  me every day. What I shared was that I attained Wisdom through prayer and meditation. I admitted that I was a novice at this, even though I had been practicing this for over 30 years. I stressed that this is normal, since I have been programmed to be man, not Man.

Now, back to our lesson. When I join Bible study groups, I try to explain, in mortal words, how I accept the two tales of creation. My fellow seekers say that this is when God put skin on Adam and Eve, and they became mortal with a finite life span. Continuing on that God was very angry and therefore was punishing them for their disobedience. Impossible!!

As Mrs. Eddy says, and as we believe, the first definition of God is Love. And if we truly believe that, we cannot accept God’s anger. I have two children, and I have been blessed that neither of them has turned against God. Saying this, I have to admit that I am sometimes confused about their life choices. My son joined the Army and went to Iraq. I know that in combat, he probably killed some Iraqis; this was war. On the other hand, my daughter is powerful in business and had amassed what I refer to as a fortune, owning an historic home and one on the beach in North Carolina. They do not flaunt their wealth, but they do not hide it. Both are heavy contributors to charities.

Although I do question their choices at times, I do love them unconditionally and cannot punish them; I can only show them how simply I live in God’s Creation. I practice the same love that God has for us. the early scribes describe God’s anger for man; impossible! God is Love and loves us unconditionally and does not create discord.

©Russell Kendall Carter

 

I walk seeking shelter from the storm

and enter a tunnel of darkness,

filled with artificial light but feel no brilliance.

I enter broken, seeking healing;

my frailty waltzes through my life…

offering sorrow and punishment,

not promise.

But pain does not compose my symphony;

I no longer hide behind my mortal scars

for this is not God.

No longer diminished by my fears,

I walk in vigilance,

no longer obsessed by man’s mortal fear

of sickness and death.

I know and feel the love God gives.

My spirit is strong,

and no longer will I walk in the tunnel of darkness.

God’s Light is my guide.

©Russell Kendall Carter