Author: rkcdlitt

We search for clarity in our lives, but vagueness and nothingness creep in between our shutters and alter our perception of reality (whatever that is) . . .

Our realities are the same, whether we admit it or not. What differs is our perception of reality. There are facts in this life, never alternative facts, just different perceptions and understandings.

I cannot perceive the world as you do, simply because our experiences are vastly different, even if we were to have grown as siblings in the same household. My sister and I shared a house for many years, until we were both in our twenties. We did not have the same view of life. She was the petite actress and drum majorette for the high school marching band. I was the lumbering (doubling her weight), pseudo jock, whose only claim to fame was drinking Seven and 7s at parties (for you neophytes, that’s Seven up and Seagram’s’ 7). There is no way we could agree on our outlook on life. When in our twenties, she attended every Washington protest, against racism, the lack of women’s rights, and the Vietnam War. I spent that time in the Marine Corps, opposing all that my sister believed in, all that she stood for. In our sixties, we did agree on most things, although approaching issues from different viewpoints, hers from a practical, social worker viewpoint, mine from a more academic and spiritual position.

Henri Nouwen writes, “. . . just as in nature, colors and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions; human life doesn’t offer the clarity we are looking for . . .” We must take an active method to finding clarity. We cannot live a life of contentment without allowing ambiguity and vacuity to lead our every path. God knows I had enough experience walking dangerous paths while both serving in the Marines and my immediate life with the same I am right, you are wrong life after my four years in the Corps.

So, what is the objective advice; I haven’t a clue. I do know that I must continually search for what I believe to be the truth; search but not step in front of others.

Jesus said that we must love God and love our neighbor as ourselves. Easier said than done, Bubba. I love God, and for the most part, I love my neighbor, regardless of his gender identity, national origin, religion, education level, “etcetera, etcetera, etcetera,” as ‘enry ‘iggins says.

My stumbling block is loving myself. Admit it, friends – you too.

I’ll give you my reasons: I am too fat; I have double chins; or earlier in life: why can’t I be popular like my sister; why can’t I be the star of the football team; why can’t I get the lead in the school play. And the list goes on and on and on. Well, I am one week away from celebrating (or hiding from) my 74^th birthday. Finally, I am comfortable in my own skin. Now, instead of loving my neighbor more than myself, myself is catching up.

The choices we make are those that are our best bets. They are choices we make without any truly clear-cut certainty. Sometimes, they are filled with danger, but they are always filled ambiguity and vacuity. If we let them . . .

Have a wonderful day.

As we sit here in central Virginia, awaiting the nor’easter that is threatening to shut down the entire east coast of the United States, I wonder what our values are. My wife, Linda, Wonder Woman as she is called at St. George’s Episcopal church, is fretting over what will happen if we have even a minor snowfall here in Fredericksburg. I fully understand her concern; with over 2000 pounds of fresh fruit, vegetables, and durable staples to distribute at The Table, she is concerned about getting this food to those in need. This is to say nothing about the storage problems we have with such an active church. Truly, this is an issue that a snowfall will disrupt.

However, and there always is a however; however, we might look at this threatened snowfall for what it can be. Major weather events that completely disrupt our everyday lives can be a blessing. If we take this time to sit back, meditate on where we are, where we are going, we might be able to live with ourselves with greater comfort. We must live in the moment; I know this is a popular expression, living in the now, living in the moment. Take hold of our lives and examine where we are. Several questions will push themselves to the front of your mind. Questions, such as to where we are going, and why. Questions whether our current lives are taking us where we want to be in ten, twenty, or thirty years.

Thirty-two years ago, I was in the photography business – unhappily. As good as business was, expenses for rent and utilities, costs of goods to produce our final products, customers always in a rush, were issues that kept me awake at night. Then tragedy struck: on the way home on the Friday after Thanksgiving, I stopped to make a left-hand turn. The alcohol-induced driver behind me failed to notice my blinker and rear-ended my car, driving my car under the wheels of a very large deliver truck. Six weeks later, I was still in a wheelchair. Five years later, I was the proud owner of a completely failed business. Fortunately, doors were opened for me to draw me into teaching. I ended my depressive solace by becoming a history teacher at New Providence High School in New Jersey. As luck would have it, more doors opened and I studied for a doctorate in literature from Drew University, and in my retirement years, I am now an adjunct professor of American literature at Germanna Community College in Fredericksburg.

The strange thing about this is that I had gone to college in 1961 to become a mathematics teacher; this did not work out, and after a stint in the United States Marines, I came home to help run the family business, which over the years morphed into the photo business.

I was not living in the moment; I was taking the way I thought would lead to a comfortable life. During my 25-plus years in business, I did many things outside to enrich those I knew. I had photography classes; I rented space to amateurs to develop their own photos in my labs; I worked with the local school systems to enrich their high school photo clubs and courses. I taught Sunday school at Christ Church in summit off and on for twenty years; and I lead the Christian Ed program at Christ church for many years. Do you see a pattern? I was edging towards teaching subconsciously. I was not actively listening to my inner voice, and therefore, I was not living in the moment, or what I refer to as living in the now. I never really took the time to learn what I really wanted to do; I was too busy doing, not thinking. . . until that fatal night in 1985 caused me to think and consider my options.

I have been honored to be asked to be the key-note speaker at the Academic Awards ceremony at Germanna Community College in April. I’ll bet you cannot guess what my message will be for these bright up-and-coming future leaders of our society, be it local, national, or ever international. These are young students from all backgrounds, all ethnicities, and all religions. I have been blessed to have some of them in my classes. They are the future of Virginia and the United States, and, they are the best students I have been blessed to mentor.

That’s all for today; enjoy your day Far from the Madding Crowds.

We plummet into darkness                                                                                                             Unaware of what is to come.

President Kennedy kept a small frame on his desk with the seamen’s prayer: “Oh! God, thy sea is so great and my boat is so small.”

We plummet into darkness                                                                                                             Unaware of what is to come.

The Tao says: “In night’s vast ocean,/Sun, moon, and earth align,/pulling the earth out of roundness/and making tides rage./Such is the power of night.”

We plummet into darkness                                                                                                             Unaware of what is to come.

Those of us who did not support our president’s election greatly fear what may come from his inability to focus on reality. It is truly a fearful time for the United States. He and his Republican minions are gutting the State Department, weakening our stand around the world. They are gutting the EPS and the Education Department; and taking vital health care from millions of Americans.

We plummet into darkness                                                                                                             Unaware of what is to come.

We do not know what to do. Some of our more active Americans are leading the protest weekly, without even a nod from the leaders of government. It is truly a fearful time. Our government seems to be tone deaf to the needs and the desires of the people it is meant to serve. It seems that the Constitution and Bill of Rights are minor inconveniences that our leaders are choosing not to consider, as they gut the vital needs that government should address.

We plummet into darkness                                                                                                             Unaware of what is to come.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Harry S. Truman, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, John Kerry; these are Americans who sacrificed much to correct an omission in our government, to correct a wrong that government allowed to fester in American society. If you are unaware of what these Americans contributed to our country, you must make yourself learn what Americans can do, if we try.

We plummet into darkness                                                                                                             Unaware of what is to come.

But we do not have to plummet; we can regain the America we want by continuing to protest, by taking our cause to the government, by peaceful, non-violent protest designed to upset the smooth runnings that our present government think is correct.

We plummet into darkness                                                                                                             Unaware of what is to come.

But, we can also consider our Judeo-Christian society, remember those saints and prophets who gave their lives to correct improprieties. Do we have the courage, the faith, and the determination to disallow what those in power are doing? Or, are we satisfied, as We plummet into darkness Unaware of what is to come?

Is there any more powerful force of nature than water? Water is very pliable, yet extremely powerful. We must be like water in these trying times in our lives.
I look back to the women’s marches all around the world on January 21st and see a most powerful force against the limited thinking of our leaders. This is the power that changes things; this is the power that can wrap around and strangle those impediments that water faces. We must do the same.

However, we cannot forget that uncheck, water can be very destructive. We cannot let this power be uncontrolled. We cannot forget where we were; we did that and look at the results. Our water-like energy must create, not destroy. We must consider all people and all opinions, even those with which we disagree. If we do not, then we are no better than those we oppose.

Let’s look inside ourselves for what is good, not what is opposition. Then we can return to what is good in the United States.

Joy makes life worth living, but for many people joy is impossible. Some do not choose joy to be in their lives. People can watch the same event and come away with two opposing views, one joyful, the other filled with sadness, or discontent. The way that we view events in our lives determines whether we choose joy or discontent; it’s up to us to decide how we want to live.

Use this latest election as an example. There are those who are overjoyed, and those who are extremely disturbed by what our president is doing. People, take it in stride. Yes, we must protest; we have to stand up to express our views. What we need not do is allow these events to destroy the way we look at ourselves. We cannot allow outside influences to destroy the way we live.

Do you still love your family? Do you still enjoy the people you work with, the people you have fun with? Whatever or however you live your life will not be directly affected by what is occurring outside your sphere of happiness and joy. It is perfectly acceptable for us to go into the streets to protest government action.  I recently attended at vigil to protest the recent government execution of a death row inmate. I am fervently against capital punishment; I write letters to newspapers and government officials protesting their usurpation of God’s commandment not to kill, not to commit murder. This is one of the events that truly disturbs me, how we can justify murder, with murder. But, I do not allow this to assault my everyday inner joy.

And, it works!

So . . . opt for joy, my friends; you will find a great deal of ease and happiness; less stress and worry.

Be joyful!!!!

Have you ever been to a place that seems familiar, but you can’t quite remember if you have ever been there? Life can be very vexing at times. There are more things in our world that ask questions that we are incapable of answering, at least on an intellectual level.

If there are no answers on an intellectual level, where can we find answers. I am reminded of Yogi Berra’s comment, “It’s Deja-Vu all over again.” Funny, isn’t it? But maybe not. Have we been there before, or is it a place that just reminds us of somewhere we’ve been?

I am reading William Walker Atkinson’s A Series of Lessons in Gnani Yoga, published in October 1906. It is the Eastern view of how Western religious philosophy has drifted so far away from the teachings of first century Christianity. There are explanations explaining some of the mysteries that are not answered in the King James Bible, or any modern translation.

I have done considerable reading about first century Christianity; what the Apostles of Jesus taught throughout the then-known world. These are the men who traveled with Jesus, or traveled with those, who did travel with Jesus.

What we learn today differs greatly from the teachings of these apostles. There lessons are far removed from the alterations and edicts from the Western Church that have come down through the years. For instance, women were an important part in Jesus’ ministry; after all, the first appearance of the Good News of Jesus’ resurrection was to women. The women in the New Testament play an important role in His healings and his preaching. But, throughout the centuries, western religion has usurped the role of women and placed them in the subservient position, which is not much better than the slaves in the history of the USA.

How can we accept these ancient teachings? Henri Nouwen has a classic but often forgotten idea: solitude and meditation. When we are alone and in meditation to get closer to God, we open our minds and hearts to hear God speak to us. Nouwen says that solitude is the garden that allows our heart to flourish in God’s good news of Love. Our being alone (with God) will calm our anxious minds, erasing the stressful unhappiness that seems to control our waking hours. Solitude and meditation is essential for our spirit to grow in God’s Love and accept the confines of the hectic world we live in. This is in line with what the 1^st century Christians did. It brought them closer to God.

How does this ancient set of Christian beliefs evolve from remembering a place you have never visited? Good question.

Christian teaching has always been that life extends beyond the grave. The question is, how, to what extent. We have placed little thought to where, when, and how this occurs. Are we reborn to new bodies and remember bits and pieces of our former identities? Or, do we learn a collective knowledge, such as the instinct that is so noticeable in dogs and other four-legged beasts?

I must think more about this. Maybe when I discover a reasonable response I will return to this topic.

Have a great day.

The Tao says “The muralist sets his picture one centimeter at a time.”

The muralist knows that the big picture is and has enough concentration to piece each individual tile to create his enormous tableau.

If we look at our lives as a muralist would, we recognize that we are the individual pieces; we are part of the grand tableau of God, our muralist. God knows the big picture and where we fit into His enormous tableau. What an interesting and perplexing thought. I have meditated on this for several weeks now and find it difficult to comprehend the importance of this idea. We ask the questions of how we fit into the big picture; how important are we to the giant tableau; and, why me. All of these are important and perplexing issues; ones that we are not truly ready to meditate on and accept our meaning in the world, in God’s world. And yet, like each, individual tile in the muralists creation, we are important. If we are out of place for the muralist, we can destroy his tableau. Is it just as important that we are an integral part of God’s universal mural?

Remember, only God knows what the final, enormous creation means and is. We must find our proper place to fulfill our place.

Okay, say we, but what if what we are doing is not what God wants, is not the place that God chose for us. Will that mess up God’s mural. The only answer I have, which is truly my creation, is this: Are you happy with your position in life? If you are, then perhaps you are where God wants you. If you are unhappy, then maybe you need to look at yourself and ask many, many questions.

Let me tell you my story. For many years, I was in my own business; actually, it began as my parents’ business, but I changed it dramatically over time. I thought that I was the luckiest man on earth to be doing what I was doing. I was my own boss. I was a successful small businessman, respected for my position in the community. I was absolutely miserable!!! I both knew it and didn’t know it. How can that be possible?

In November 1985, I was rear-ended by a drunk driver and driven under the wheels of a very large truck. I was out of work for most of the next five years; my business was a shambles. When I finally returned to work, I struggled to put the pieces back together, but it proved impossible and in 1994, I ended the agony.

During this time, I was serving as chairperson for the booster club at my children’s high school. One night, the athletic director announce that the swim team coach just quit. My son was to be captain of the team that year. Fortunately, I had been involved in swimming with the local YMCA and was able to step in to keep the team alive while we searched for a coach. At the end of the season, the AD asked if I would stay on as the coach. Over the next three years, I worked with the team and we were blessed to compete in the state championship; we lost!! Suring the wrap-up of the season, the principal of the high school talked with me and said that I would be a good teacher in the high school and was I interested in working for a masters’ degree. To make a very long story a little shorter, I ended up being a high school history teacher, who went onto get a doctorate degree in contemporary literature and I am now teaching English writing in a local community college.

I am the happiness person in the world. When I was a businessman, I was not in the proper position in God’s mural; as a college professor, I am.

The daily meditation for today from the Henri Nouwen Society reads:

 What is our task in this world as children of God and brothers and sisters of Jesus? Our task is reconciliation. Wherever we go we see divisions among people – in families, communities, cities, countries, and continents. All these divisions are tragic reflections of our separation from God. The truth that all people belong together as members of one family under God is seldom visible. Our sacred task is to reveal that truth in the reality of everyday life.

 This is especially important for my brothers and sisters throughout the United States who fear getting together because of political differences and the drastic division that this past presidential election has created. We must unite and pray that our new president will grow into the position he has attained. Whether we are for or against Mr. Trump, or whether we were for or against President Obama when first elected, we understand that a person grows into the position of president. This will occur  this time also; we must pray that it does.

 But, we must also reconcile our hearts and minds to others. Our dislike and mistrust of people with different religions, or people who come from a country different from ours, must be eliminated. Look at our immediate neighbors. In the cul-de-sac where I live, there are three other families, all with different ethnicities, all with different levels of education, and all with entirely different backgrounds that my wife and I. There are times that we get on each other’s nerves, but we get along. We share a common bond, which is we are all God’s children. We all love God, no matter what name we call him; we all pray to God, no matter whether we kneel, stand, or prostrate ourselves to do this. We all have children that we love and cherish, and we all go to work to improve the American society.

 God has truly blessed all of us. This is what we must remember. This is what is the important element in attaining the correct path to reconciliation. God does not want us to quarrel, to hate, or to mistrust.

 So, let us take this spirit of reconciliation and join it with this season of all religions’ holiday services during the waning days of December and try to carry us into a new year of understanding and forgiveness. I truly believe that this is what God wants from us.

 I wish you all much happiness and good fortune as we celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa.

During my meditations, today, I was praying to Abba, our Father in heaven, when another voice entered my consciousness. She did not give me her name, so I will call her Angel.

 Me: Are you an angel of our Lord?

 Angel: Yes, I have been with you since you were a seed in your mother’s womb and will be with you until you return home.

 I thought . . .

 I am the one who pulled you from the agonies of pain that Sunday in July.

 . . . I was speaking with God.

But why me?

 You are worthy. You are able to do great things.

 Me? I am not great.

 You are blessed by God to follow in Christ’s footsteps.

 I am nothing . . .

 You have the talent to do good.

 . . . like Christ.

 Take your unique abilities and let them flow from your body, as Jesus did. Your talents are as unique to you as Jesus’s talents were to him.

 I need the will . . .

 You have the will, and remember that I will be with you always. When you pray, or meditate, I will be with you.

 A feeling of euphoria entered my body, filling my chest with so much air, I thought I might explode . . . but I knew better; I am blessed by God.

Back before the Dark Ages, when I was a young man in my first year of college, thinking about joining the military was way off my video screen. Nobody in his right mind thought of voluntarily joining the military; that was something you got drafted into. This was a few years before the Vietnam War began in 1964.

My college career did not go so well, and I left after the first year and bummed around at various no-future jobs. Then I woke up; I was always a newshound; I sensed that we might be heading into some type of military action in Southeast Asia. My God, I was draft bait. After a great deal of thinking, I voluntarily, yes, I said voluntarily, enlisted in the Marine Corps Reserves. I had intended to return to college, but I wanted to cover my behind.

When my reserve company was given preliminary orders to prepare for a general call-up in 1965, we went to the mountain warfare training camp I northern California where I zigged when I should have zagged and ended up flat on my back in severe pain after slipping from a rope during a full-dress rappel. The result being that a year later I was medically released from the Marines with an honorable discharge following.

Many in my unit were called to Vietnam and some did not return. Being a small arms specialist, I would have been one sent to Vietnam. I had survivors’ guilt for many, many years. I looked back on my days in The Corps in a not-so-happy way.

But over the years, my opinion began to change; I met other Marines, some were survivors of WWII; others were Korean War vets and all of them welcomed me as an equal member of the great fraternity of those who served.

The other day I was reading the Washington Post and came across an ad by Comcast showing a young female employee of Comcast in the uniform of the United States Air Force with a broad smile on her face. This intrigued me. I then searched the internet for other photos of female service members and saw the one attached to this blog.

They are all extremely happy. Why? Why was I now extremely happy that I served? It baffled me before I realized that we are happy because we have all or are all doing something greater than ourselves. We are doing something that puts others first. It may be for only a short tour in the Corps, or some other branch; but the fact is we are willing to sacrifice ourselves for the benefit of others.

This is probably one of the reasons that after my required midlife crisis I became a teacher and am happier than I have ever been. I am serving others; I am elated and gratified that I have a second chance to help others that need my special talents. As with the young military women in the photo, I am again putting others’ needs before my own needs.

This is one reason why I strongly support national service for our youth. It gives them a chance to put others first.

I can hear my son now. “But Dad, not everyone is cut out for the military.” I used to fight over this with him, but now I say that it does not necessarily have to be the military. My sister served with Vista in her youth, serving those who needed her special.

So, I look at these happy servicewomen, sometimes wishing I had been able to stay in the Corps. I realize that I did love the time I served as a young Marine. But I now love my time as a college professor. When I finally do retire; and I have tried it unsuccessfully twice; I guess I love putting others first. I hope to fondly look back at my life and be happy that I put others before myself.