Forgiveness

Unlocking Our Chains

James Koester writes: “We can choose to forgive as we are forgiven, or we can choose to bear our grudges and nurse our hurts. We can choose to offer and embrace and receive that peace or turn our backs.”

Most of us have difficulties forgiving others, particularly when the other hurts us deeply. This lack of forgiveness can last along time, and, when it does, we often lose a life-long friend. To prevent this, we forgive the offense and continue with a warm, close relationship with the person. One of my biggest mistakes was losing touch with my sister for ten years after a perceived slight. Fortunately, we had fifteen good years as friends before her death in 2012.

One of the most difficult thing to do is forgive ourselves. We spend too much time blaming ourselves for poor relationships, lost opportunities, and a myriad of other mistakes we make. Why is it so difficult to forgive ourselves? We take the blame for too many missteps and mistakes we make, rather than moving on looking for new opportunities to improve our situation, or to atone for a mistake.

I discovered from my sister, that she had no idea why we had lost touch. The entire problem was within me. After her death, I blames myself for the lost years. It took me a while to forgive myself, accept what was, and reflect on how close we were before she died. I have taken the lead many in talking with a person after a perceived problem, only to discover that it was all in my head. But, by talking things over, our relationships have become stronger.

I have learned, the hard way if I am honest, that God forgives us for all we do. This gives me a great inner calm, knowing that God is always with me. I, in turn, want to emulate God’s love for me in all my relationships. By expressing love and friendship with everyone, I am happier, the people I meet are happier, and strong friendships are made. Isn’t this God’s plan for us?

 

 

 

 

 

 We can choose to reach out and touch God who in bread and wine is made near and real and present or we can choose to go hungry.

-Br. James Koester

 

 

 

 

 

 We can choose to reach out and touch God who in bread and wine is made near and real and present or we can choose to go hungry.

-Br. James Koester