Sometimes I get incredibly angry when things do not go the way I want or expect them to. I know this is an internal mental release, but it does not help me get the outcome I want. Anger is a negation, there is no love or truth with anger. It is the absence of something. It is unreal because it is the absence of God in our lives.
When we are angry, we feel betrayed by our materialistic society. But we are not abandoned; God is always with and within us. We may have lost something we thought was important, but whatever it may be is surely superficial and has nothing to do with our health or wellbeing. We need to remember that we have more than we ever could lose.
I awakened this morning after a long night of fidgeting. Usually, I am angry all day long when this happens. Then I realized that I was alive by the grace of God. I remembered that my future cannot be ruled by what I no longer have. I remembered something that was told to me, “Don’t be angry because something has ended, smile because it happened.”
So, this is my new life; I will no longer live by the rules I meritocracy, a no-win lifestyle. For years, my life has been one of forgiveness and love, and I should always remember that God has given me great gifts to share; and anger is not one of them. What I viewed as betrayal and abandonment is my human acceptance of societal rules. I work daily to remember to accept God’s Grace, not on my time, but His. He superhighway of meritocracy is not God’ way.
As a former educator, I am not rich, but I am economically comfortable. Those I love and am comfortable being with are now my teachers. I am always amazed at how they are and how grateful they share any windfall of food or blessing they receive. Then I remember that these are the people Jesus loved; these are the people Jesus lived with; these are God’s children.
I long to be as faithful and happy as they are. I cannot due this when filled with anger. I can only be blessed and happy with a life that continues each day when I arise.
©Russell Kendall Carter
Meditating to Heal 
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