Trust and Forgiveness
One of the greatest problems we face on an almost daily basis is a lack of trust. From the news, all we hear is that we cannot trust one branch of government or another, or, we cannot trust the free press. But there is a deeper trust that is violated often; that is personal trust.
When a loved one breaks our trust, it is our duty to forgive. Otherwise, we face a lifetime of sorrow over the loss of a true friend.
If we do not, the only person who is damaged is ourselves.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living in fear of being hurt by someone else’s snap retort to a comment or opinion I offer. Many times, these retorts are not meant to hurt, but they do; this is especially true when the person is trusted as a loved one, or a trusted leader. Instead of jumping into the conclusion that the person has offended you, you must step over this crack in the sidewalk to prevent yourself from falling into an abyss that you may not be able to escape. Depression and despair will only follow.
I often ask myself, how many times I respond to a comment without thinking of the effect it might have on my relationship with the person. Now, this depends on the relationship I share. If I am close friends, and we are always jokingly poking each other, comments made in jest are understood; however, a trusted third party might misinterpret what is said and strike out at either of us in a way that deflates the jest and love between the two people. If this third party is also a loved one, or a trusted leader, the comments can hurt. Speaking personally, I have left some groups because the leader has spoken harshly to me too many times.
The down side of this is that I am hurt by not attending the group functions, and the group as a whole is hurt by not having my input on possible important issues. The person who made the offending comments does not realize the cause of my leaving the group. He is not hurt; he does not know. In the end, I am the only one who is hurt.
This is a very difficult thing to get over. I pray that I can overcome my pain, but the fear of being hurt again is strong. Personally, I still love the person who has hurt me. He is a brother, or she is a sister; we are both children of God. We are both perfect in God’s eyes. I wasted a few years of separation from my sister over arguments about the care of our parents; we both were at a loss. We did come together again, but shortly after that, she passed onto her eternal life; I have since regretted the years we were estranged.
This should be ample reason for me to forget the unintended regrets of a side comment that was not meant to do harm. I think that my ego is what holds me back.
I am now a member of a very important group. I have learned to ignore unintended actions or comments, even when they feel like a bee sting. I have meditated away the impulse to be harmed by these innocent remarks for the good of the group, and for my own personal stability.
I always fall back on one of my favorite sayings, God forgives me every time I stray from His path; I must do the same for others if I want to continue to walk in His light.