Meditating to Heal

 

I rise from my patio throne

with heart sorrowing for visions unseen.

My transitory images soon undone,

He cautions never to take thine eyes

From Him, for nature’s shortened green

and mankind soon will die.

 

Resurrection comes anew each March

by seeds so small ‘til they leaven;

my urge to stay so very large

not get away from earth awhile.

I again postpone my trip to heaven,

for Virginia hills so do beguile

 

©Russell Kendall Carter

 

Jesus, the water of Life;

in all the faces we meet;

eternal promise of togetherness.

 

©Russell Kendall Carter

Our dictionary defines transition this way: “movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change.” I simplify this to transformation. This carries much more impact and thoroughness than just mere change. I can change clothes; I can even change jobs; but I must transform my life if I look for a more substantial meaning and purpose as to who and what I am.

I experienced such a transition when I was fifty years of age. For over twenty-five years I was working and finally leading my family’s retail business. I was self-centered; I was chasing after the all-mighty dollar. I made decisions that profited only myself and my business. I was a failure!

Then a force stepped in; I called it fate; I now call it God. A series of occurrences changed my life forever; I was removed from my self-centered position as a self-important businessman and through the Grace of God, I was transformed into a teacher. From the first time I stepped into a classroom of middle school children until the day I retired twenty-five years later as a literature professor in college, I realized that I was not the most important thing in my life; I was not the core of my existence. My students were more important than I.

Let me explain! After one year of transformation, what the administration called a long-term substitute, I was given my own high school Social Studies class.  But my transition began as a substitute. The first morning, as I was taking attendance and watching all the students reconnecting after a long summer away from each other, I realized that education is not about the teacher; education is about the students. They are the true center! They became the center of my life.

When the first group of ninth graders entered my world history class, I held up my right hand with my thumb and forefinger about a half-inch apart and I said, “Welcome to World History; do you see this space between my fingers; this represents all I know about world history; over the course of the next few months, we will learn the rest together.” What I did not realize then, but I do now, is that I was telling my students to relax; we are learning together; you are my equal.

I did this for every new class I taught from ninth grade social studies to my last course as a college professor teaching the modern American play. To paraphrase Paul, we are all responsible for one another’s life, not just our own; we all share each other’s goodness; my life is not just me; my life includes you. My life includes all people. My life and those I affected in my teaching were blessed by my transformation.

©Russell Kendall Carter

As I trudge through the forests of life, I find my feet are often mired in the mud of self-made resistance. As is true with many of us, we create our own dire hardships and majestic disappointments. When I stop to look at what I am doing, as a result of a trumpet creeper slapping me in the face, life is bowling over me into true awakening with what is real.

I awake in the presence of a more powerful reality of He who knows our weakness and suffers all trials with us. Standing before Him, I feel no embarrassment of my brokenness and failures. For they are His also, as He carries me over my self-made missteps. In the quietude of my contemplation, I listen for the voice of God; I feel the words of Isaiah in my heart: “learn to good do, search for justice. . . be just to the orphan, plead for the widow, (1:17).

My heart explodes with the knowledge of my future steps. I am led from the darkness of my selfish forest to the sunlight of sharing my love of God with those shown to me who are in need of God’s Love and Truth. The vine that awakened me becomes God’s voice for me to speak.

©Russell Kendall Carter

These two simple words bring up two images in my mind. One is delightfully intriguing; the other is a poor example of man’s lack of caring for his brothers and sisters.

I don’t want to dwell on the negative side, only to remind myself of the ungodly treatment of our Black brothers and sisters. The other is the wonderful dance of the 1920’s, also performed mostly by our Black brothers and sisters. I have seen this dance, not danced it, I’m not that talented. It makes no sense to me. Although growing up in the 1950’s, I was more accustomed to the stroll and the lively twist along with Chubby Checker.

I am bringing this up from a recent trip my wife and I made to Pennsylvania to watch our grandson play lacrosse. I have to say the weather was terrible, rain, rain, and a little more rain. We went through the mountains of West Virginia through clouds that seemed to touch the top of our car. The bottoms of the clouds, our new skylight was pitch black, as the bottom of thunderclouds are.

Now, you might say that this was disheartening, but it was far from it. It was beautiful. I am overjoyed when I sit and admire the sunny days with birds and squirrels bickering over the feeders around our patio. These simple pleasures are God’s thank you(s) for feeding his flock. But when I sit under black-bottomed clouds, I am intrigued by the passions they bring out. I look at the billowing white, mountainous crowns and the pitch-black bottoms and am in awe of the variety and mixture of nature’s beauty.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a pessimist who belabors negative thoughts. I find it comforting to take my family, huddle in a house that will protect us (I pray). And awaiting the coming storm with torrential rain and winds that could be hurricane or tornado strength. But I also know that rain will nurture the soils for new plantings, and the rains and winds will cleanse our worlds. And we will be renewed in the following sunlight.

The black bottom of song and weather nourishes our lives.

©Russell Kendall Carter

I find it difficult to explain this theory to my friends who are limited in their understanding of God and Man. As is made clear in our belief and in our understanding of Scripture, “…according to the best scholars, there are clear evidences of two distinct documents in the early part of the book of Genesis (523:14-17).” Man, with a capital “M,” is the perfect creation by God; man is the mortal misconception created by the early writers of the Old Testament. God creates noting that is imperfect. Therefore, Man is eternal.

One of the terms that I cannot accept in this week’s lesson is “science.” Another is the word, “knowledge.” These are words created by men to try to understand the words and gifts of God. They are refuted by those who do not follow the meaning of God.  I must admit that I never could learn science in either high school or college. Believe me when I say that this is embarrassing to admit. However, while in college, I attained a great deal of knowledge from my undergraduate programs to my doctorate in contemporary literature; and I will admit that as a teacher a college professor, I share a great deal of this knowledge with my students.

What I did not and could not share with them was Wisdom; this only comes from God. I explained this to them. What I did do was share with them how I attain Wisdom, through meditation and prayer. That was as far as I felt I could go. I had Christians, Jews, Muslims, Sikhs, and many other religious students sitting before  me every day. What I shared was that I attained Wisdom through prayer and meditation. I admitted that I was a novice at this, even though I had been practicing this for over 30 years. I stressed that this is normal, since I have been programmed to be man, not Man.

Now, back to our lesson. When I join Bible study groups, I try to explain, in mortal words, how I accept the two tales of creation. My fellow seekers say that this is when God put skin on Adam and Eve, and they became mortal with a finite life span. Continuing on that God was very angry and therefore was punishing them for their disobedience. Impossible!!

As Mrs. Eddy says, and as we believe, the first definition of God is Love. And if we truly believe that, we cannot accept God’s anger. I have two children, and I have been blessed that neither of them has turned against God. Saying this, I have to admit that I am sometimes confused about their life choices. My son joined the Army and went to Iraq. I know that in combat, he probably killed some Iraqis; this was war. On the other hand, my daughter is powerful in business and had amassed what I refer to as a fortune, owning an historic home and one on the beach in North Carolina. They do not flaunt their wealth, but they do not hide it. Both are heavy contributors to charities.

Although I do question their choices at times, I do love them unconditionally and cannot punish them; I can only show them how simply I live in God’s Creation. I practice the same love that God has for us. the early scribes describe God’s anger for man; impossible! God is Love and loves us unconditionally and does not create discord.

©Russell Kendall Carter

 

I walk seeking shelter from the storm

and enter a tunnel of darkness,

filled with artificial light but feel no brilliance.

I enter broken, seeking healing;

my frailty waltzes through my life…

offering sorrow and punishment,

not promise.

But pain does not compose my symphony;

I no longer hide behind my mortal scars

for this is not God.

No longer diminished by my fears,

I walk in vigilance,

no longer obsessed by man’s mortal fear

of sickness and death.

I know and feel the love God gives.

My spirit is strong,

and no longer will I walk in the tunnel of darkness.

God’s Light is my guide.

©Russell Kendall Carter

When I read of all of the problems and wars in the world today, I feel as if I am reading another chapter of the Dark Night of the Soul. Everywhere there are problems and unrest. I feel like running off to the desert to live the life of the Christian outcasts of the second and third centuries. Living a secluded life of prayer and tending to the earth looks very inviting some days. But God beckons, “Follow me. You will see greater things than these.”

God opens my heart to a vision greater than anyone can imagine. Hope is what I view; hope is what I feel. God’s promise of life and freedom is for the asking. The lighted path of Jesus is ready for our tentative baby steps. We must tread cautiously at first until we find our way, for we are His children and as the Bible promises, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28).”

I am too proud of a man; this is the cross I bear. I cannot cry when confronted by the sins of society. I cry when a family member dies. I know why, but I believe that he or she is entering a much better world than we experience now. By passing from this life into the next, we enter a kingdom closer to God and we flourish. But I cannot cry at the results of our covetous society. I see a child denied healthcare because his family lacks insurance and are too poor to pay the exorbitant price of healing. (Hint: Jesus did not charge to heal). I also see the family on the corner of a busy intersect begging for a few pennies to buy food for the children. Chances are the family is black or immigrants; and our society is too enamored with the accumulation of wealth to pay a livable wage. No one can survive on only $11.00 per hour (the minimum wage). I cannot cry when I see these left-behind children of God. I get angry! I condemn our political leaders because they give all to big business, not the citizenry. DV. Millar reminds us: “When we see our neighbors cold, hungry, and suffering, we are taught not to turn a blind eye to that suffering, but to make a difference.”

No matter where we hear Jesus; no matter where we meet God, God’s promise of life and liberty is for all God’s children. Our conversations must reflect His promise of Love and eternal Life. Jesus brought God’s light for all mankind, not just a select few in Israel. He continues to teach and bring us God’s ever-healing light. Love of God always lead to love for our all humanity, not just our political and business leaders.

Individually we lack the power to change  the minds of people who think that this is acceptable for our society. However, together we can try to convince those in power that suppression of the poor is not the answer, is not the answer to God’s wishes for mankind. It is not in concert with the lessons taught to us by Jesus.

Knowing this, I open my heart to God who leads me to how I can work to help those who are suppressed by those who covet more material profits and to bring this message to others through my everyday activities and contacts.

God shows me how I can be a better vision of what I think I am, showing me that the plans I have made for myself can change. This led me into the world of teaching at age 51.

We know that it is God’s plan for His creation that is important, and this leads me from being negative about what I do and how I treat others.

©Russell Kendall Carter

“. . . behold, the kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21).”

There are some things we will never understand, and perhaps we are meant to be kept in the dark.

So, I sat in the chapel; celebrating the life of someone who was not a close friend, but he was a member of the same Marine Corps League as I. He was our Centennial Marine, a gentleman who will be missed by all. The minister reminded us that the dead are now the center of our thoughts because this dear person had died. I felt no sorrow.

This old Marine will forever live as a bright light in my heart, because I love him. I feel no sorrow because he is now in the place we will all be when this life ends; we will be in that place that we see with our hearts, the place of such awe that we can never explain it in our limited vocabularies.

As our Bible says, this is the place where peace is all round, the place where the lion lies next to the lamb. This is the place where physical and psychological pain ceases to exist because God’s Love consumes us all.

This place, this vision of awe, this vision of Love, is a gift of a good life; this gift is a vision of God’s eternity. And I will follow the advice of my dear departed friend: “to live a good life, life a plain life.” I remember Luke’s words and feel the kingdom which is in me.

©Russell Kendall Carter

 

When I reflect on the weekly lesson, I like to take one thought from the Bible or Mrs. Eddy and expand on it. This week I cannot do this. I read and re-read the Responsive Reading selections several times this morning. Every single passage brings memories and joys to my life. You see, three times in my life, I have been on the threshold of something greater. I was at a doorway seeing a world so magnificent that mortal words cannot describe it. What I can say is that I shared a feeling of calm that I never felt before or after standing there; but a voice told me to not enter this world. So, I turned around and rejoined my mortal life.

Over 50 years ago, I left Christian Science (much to the disappointment of my father) after my experiences in the Marine Corps in the 1960s. God saved me from facing combat by using my natural superior clumsiness. I fell into a ravine and damaged my back so severely that I had and still have great difficulty walking.  Although I felt that Christian Science was not for me, I served my fellow man in other churches, bringing them the healing power of prayer and Gode’s love for us.

After my third time at the holy threshold, I realized what God was trying to tell me all along; I must return to the study of Christian Science. The  responsive reading this week struck home. Every word reassured me that the feeling that I feel inside of me is God inviting me to bring His prayer to all I meet. This presence within me must be visible to others because in the three service organizations that I volunteer for, I have been selected by my peers to be their lay chaplain, caring for the sick and dying. I sit by bedsides bringing the comfort of God’s love with me.

In several of my meditations, I mention that I have been in pain for over 40 years. I post these on the Christian Science Facebook page, receiving criticisms for not truly understand and believing in Christian Science. I have also been blessed with a few great conversations on faith and God’s desires for us, His creation. What is very difficult to understand and accept, even by enlightened Scientists is that I have grown so much in my acceptance and understanding of God within me, that I do not care about the nature of my physical body. It is not important. Spiritually I am a perfect son of God. God has returned me to our mortal world imperfect in ways that people can see, but also perfect in the ways that truly count. God has not given me the power to heal as Jesus did, but He has given me the power to bring His words, through prayer, into the lives of those suffering, as we all do.

The Golden Text this week is beautiful, “. . . behold, the kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21).”

©Russell Kendall Carter