El Roi – God Who Sees Me – Meditating to Heal

Every night, I whisper into the ear of my sleeping-beauty wife of 58 years, “I Love You.” Then, I look up, picture the great universal skies in my mind, thank God, for putting me in the life of such a wonderful woman, thanking him for the wonderful day we just had, and asking Him for just one more day. With her!

It is this simple prayer of thanksgiving every night, not for my benefit, but for hers, that awakens me each morning knowing that God is good. But it is also the knowing that God Is with me as I live this life of a mere mortal man, struggling to be a near-invisible pilgrim of God’s Love and generosity in this world of abject greed and the forever “Me first” or the increasingly more common “Me only” societies that inhabit our small rock hurling through space.

My eyes were closed to the homeless standing on a corner asking for a handout. I could not see the wariness and hurt behind the eyes of those I called friends, who just happened to be a shade or two darker skinned than I am, or call God by a different name.

My simple prayer calls me to examine my deepest struggles and how I reflect on our damaged society which is dying by its own hand. my minor struggles mirror those of society. So, in my daily prayer and meditation periods, I sometimes struggle. It seems as if I am trying to hide from God, but no matter how lost I feel, I am lifted into the air and begin floating in my world of troubles and confusion. I then remember that I need not search for God, because (S)he dwells within my soul. . . permanently.

It is a door opening in my brain, letting the doubts fill the air around me, spinning in the songs of a carousel, over and over again until they die of their own accord. My soul is re-a-tuned to the beauty of God’s eternal recognition. My self-imposed nightmare of abandonment passes, and I again realize that my life is stuffed with miracles that I must share.

And just today, I shared a miracle. I spent time with two people who are part of society’s almost forgotten, a very kind female nurse and a very warm, compassionate man who refers to God as Allah, which is close to my name for God, Abba. For God is the father-mother of us all. I know that all of children of God.